Friday, November 28, 2008

Web

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Sunday, November 23, 2008

Baking

Mommy and I have so much fun
Baking cookies for everyone!
I love to eat them
They are so yummy!
'Specially the ones
That are in my TUMMY!

Apple

An apple a day
Sends the doctor away
Apple in the morning
Doctor's warning
Roast apple at night
Starves the doctor outright
Eat an apple going to bed
Knock the doctor on the head
Three each day, seven days a week Ruddy apple, ruddy cheek

Eat

We use our ears for hearing things
like drums and cuckoo clocks,
and chickadees,
and thunderstorms,
and bells and clangs and knocks.

We use our ears for hearing things
like honking on the street,
but ears of CORN aren't ears that hear...
They're ears just meant to EAT!

Sweet

A sweet slice of summer,
On a hot a afternoon,

The perfect treat to eat outside,
You don’t even need a spoon.

As you take a big old bite,
Feel the juice begin to run,

Be careful not to eat the seeds,
You spit those out, for fun!

A slice of watermelon,
Just can’t be beat,

It is the taste of summer,
Juicy and sweet!

Sundaes

I don't want Sundaes, they're too Sweet,
And Cheetos are too hard to eat!
I've had my fill of Jello too.
But wait, I've tasted something new!

It's not too sweet upon my face
It's outdoors in my favorite place,
To try all kinds of dirtfilled treats,
Like soil, sand and bugs to eat.

Cookie

A house should have a cookie jar
For when it's half past three
And children hurry home from school
As hungry as can be,

There's nothing quite so splendid
In filling children up
As spicy, fluffy ginger cakes
And sweet milk in a cup.

A house should have a mother
Waiting with a hug
No matter what the boy brings home
A puppy or a bug.

July

July 4th is a day for barbeques
Underneath an unforgiving sun;
Later, fireworks, perhaps the news,
Yawns, some love, and then the day is done.
For most it is a day for celebration
Of something so familiar that its grace,
Unnoticed as a routine revelation,
Remains interred in its accustomed place.
This sweet neglect of what sustains a life
Has all the confidence of man and wife.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Fun

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Thursday, November 13, 2008

Repair

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Saturday, November 8, 2008

Smelly

I heard about an older, widowed lady.
This energetic woman loved to dance
but underneath her rapture something shady
had sought the Doctor, such was circumstance.

"It isn't all that serious", she told him,
"but every time I dance with male friends,
if I should snuggle close to one, and hold him,
I break wind as my body twists and bends".

"It's not so bad - they're never ever smelly.
They don't make any noise that you can hear,
but I am so embarrassed. If my belly
is ailing, are there pills to ease my fear?"

The doctor said "I'll give you this prescription.
Two pills each night. Come back in ten more days".
He smiled at her and finished his transcription.
Days later she was back with anguished phrase -

"Doc. what was in those pills? The floor was clearing
last night because the sound was loud as hell!"
He answered "Great! The pills have fixed your hearing.
And now to just regain your sense of smell!"

Convinced

Every day I am bombarded
In each direction that I turn
By those who claim that EXERCISE
Causes flab to crash and burn!

I did jumping jacks and sit ups
Went out and bought that darn machine
The one that guarantees in 30 days
I'd be trim and fit and lean...

I put it in the extra room
That we affectionately call the "gym"
With all the other paraphenalia
That will one day make me slim!

Ab mats for doing crunches
A small tramp to run in place
That awful, go-nowhere pedaling bike
That only leaves me red of face!

I have workout clothes and sweat bands
Even a "get-fit" coffee cup!
But that scale hasn't budged an inch
So, I'm on the verge of giving up!

I've just about convinced myself
That it's true what some folks say...
You have heard it too......Eat Right!
Get Fit? Die anyway!!

So for those who are devoted
To trying to make me over, PLEASE!
If God wanted me to touch my toes
He would have put them on my knees!

I believe He loves us as we are
That includes both big AND small
So when I reach the gates of Heaven
It will be with flab and all!

Cure

A town was on an island,
In the middle of the sea.
And all its people lived their lives
In perfect harmony.

But in the nearby caves there lived
A dragon, large and green.
The people did not fear him.
For they knew he was not mean.

In fact the beast protected
And made sure they stayed alive.
The village population was
Three hundred, sixty-five.

The dragon's mother once had said,
"My dear, soon I'll be gone.
And when I am, those people there
Aren't yours to feast upon."

She said, "My dearest son,
Protect our neighbors, every one.
For one day they shall save your life.
Remember this, my son."

And so the dragon kept them safe.
Each cottage, and each farm.
And in all times of war the dragon
Kept them from all harm.

He fought for them in every war,
And kept them all alive.
The village population there
Still numbered three-six-five.

But then, one day the dragon
Caught a sickness from the air.
An illness that the poor thing,
Though he tried, just couldn't bear.

He travelled from the caves
And told this news to all the town.
He said that he would surely die,
If its cure could not be found.

At this the people said, "No, Dragon!
Friend to one and all!
Remember what your mother said?
We'd never let you fall!"

"We'll search through every library
Until we find the cure.
There must be something we can do,
You'll be just fine, we're sure!"

And so the people looked and searched
For any remedy
To save an ally that had fought
Against all enemies.

They worked and searched to save him,
So that he could stay alive.
They worked and searched to save him.
All three hundred, sixty-five.

Three days went by until they heard
A blacksmith loudly bark,
"I found it! Oh I found it,
In my attic in the dark!"

He brought the book up to the dragon,
Standing in the crowd.
And then the dragon found the page
And read it all aloud.

"Dragonitis: All dragons
Catch this once in their lives,
And each must take the cure
If he does wish that he survives.

"The cure is not a pill,
Nor is there any serum here.
Just eat one human, once a day,
For one entire year."

And so the dragon lives today,
And has through days of yore.
And he need not protect
Another human anymore.

The village was his savior,
And the village was his hero.
But now the village population's
Nothing more than zero.

Arrives

It's late Saturday night, when with dismay
Your largest filling calls it a day.
It falls onto your tongue and you think of your folly
Of how you went wrong by accepting a lolly

Promoted by dentists, like all things intended
To destruct in your head when surgery's suspended
Spitting it out, it resides in your palm
A bloody great lump, you attempt to keep calm

Your wife says, weigh yourself now dear, you're considerably lighter
Whilst you look around for something to smite her
Your tongue explores, the space left in your head
Previously occupied by this large lump of lead

Oh God! You have found it, a huge open crater
You just know it will ache, perhaps three hours later
Until Monday you chew, avoiding collision
With the aforesaid crater and make the decision

That at first light on Monday you will phone George, the man
A dentist by trade, and a true artisan
Putting all thoughts of extraction behind
You think on the instruments as used by his kind

Those blunted needles, with which he gives you a serve
And the noise of his drill as it looks for a nerve
Monday arrives and with fear in your heart
You make the appointment, dreading the start

You arrive at his surgery. The receptionists new
How was your weekend? She smiles up at you.
What a dumb question, you feel like saying
As you glance at your fellows with molars decaying

They sit there relaxed, reading the mags.
Specially selected not to leave in their bags
Stuff like Macrame and Bonsai, its clear
You won't find a Playboy or Cleo in here.

A patient comes out, bloodied tissue clasped tight
You cast a swift glance to the guy on your right
His hand starts to tremble and he makes the remark
That he's forgotten to collect his kid from the park

He leaves in a hurry, leaving a space in the queue
And soon his assistant is beckoning you
You know George is smiling ,behind his white mask
As he ushers you forward and warms to his task

You sit in his chair, your fingers explore
The depressions left by the patients before
In the arms of the chair that now captures your form
Whilst you wait for the torture that George will perform

He bungs up your mouth with great lumps of cotton
Proceeding to look for the things that are rotten
His assistant with glee puts a pipe down your throat
That splutters and gurgles in places remote

Then he asks questions, but you're not replying
The pipe in your throat prevents you from trying
It sucks away slowly, giving voice to its song
As it bends to its task of devouring your tongue

The drill sends its message to the group sitting outside
That George is at work and that soon they'll reside
In the place where you're sitting, experiencing terror
Whilst praying to God that the drill makes no error

Like hitting the nerve and knowing the feeling
That astronauts have as you pass through the ceiling
Beads of perspiration appear on your brow
Slowly converging to disappear somehow

Below your shirt collar and there to combine
To leave trail of evidence of your guts in the line
Suddenly, its over, you sit, weak and drained
George continues his preamble on teeth that remained

You gather your composure, smile with disdain
At the patients who are waiting and who contemplate pain
You lean on the counter as you await your account
Smiling with confidence as you survey the amount

How come he's relaxed? you can feel them all thinking
Is the anaesthetic still working, or has he been drinking?
Laughing inside, you know your turn's coming
Cos in George's new home...you're doing the plumbing.

Leaned

I leaned back in the dentist's chair
And felt a perfect fool.
A gurgling drain hung on my lip,
Two lumps of cotton wool
Were stuck between my cheek and gum,
My throat was full of drool.

"This is a busy week" he said,
"With children home from school."

"Aargh, shog imblag" was my reply.
He seized his picking tool...
"And mine are looking forward
To our brand new swimming pool.
Of course, they must wear rubber rings.
That is a golden rule."

"Wash gosh a bloun, I answered him,
"Wash gosh a bloun a shool."

Guess

I'm not too fit, I'll have you know
I'm overweight and rather slow
But when I run, I manage; though
I'm breathless!

Though in the past it was not thus,
I am not one to swear and cuss,
Except that, trying to catch a bus,
I'm breathless!

When as a youth, I used to play
With sweet young ladies in the hay
The girls would be the ones to say:
"I'm breathless"!

At sport I'd always stay the course
I was as strong as any horse
But now, with just a little force,
I'm breathless!

I guess my life has reached the stage
When these things happen at my age.
If all my passions I assuage,
I'm breathless!

I have my annual body checks
And find out if I need new specs.
But sadly, when I'm having sex,
I'm breathless!

No longer, now, do I aspire
To climb a mountain, walk on fire;
Instead I curb each wild desire -
I'm breathless!

Publican

This sorry tale of how good health can lead a man to strife,
Was told by one who'd never had a crook day in his life.

Not since he was a nipper had old George been taken ill.
Avoiding plague like maladies had taken quite some skill.

George hadn't time for those who groaned of gripes with rampant glee,
And many knew the pride he took in his salubrity.

But luck can manage destiny, for just a while, to bend,
And George's great good fortune would, too soon, come to an end.

One morning he awoke to find his body racked with pain.
His nose was stuffed; his ears were filled with buzzings from his brain.

He stared at his reflection in the mirror down the hall,
A pallid ghoul stared back at him. This wasn't good at all!

He had the shakes from head to toe, his temperature was raised,
His bloodshot eyes were watering, his red face fairly blazed.

"My hour has come," he weakly moaned, "I've seen my final day.
I feel my spirit ebbing out. I'm soon to pass away!"

He made a booking on the phone to see the local quack,
He wrote his will, he freed the chooks, he doubted he'd be back.

Now Jack, the local doctor, had long heard of Georges' fame,
And thought it might appeal to all to play a well meant game.

For Jack was known to regulars to joke around a bit,
(He wasn't past anaesthetising patients with his wit!)

When George came in to see him, looking rather worse for wear,
Jack put on his most solemn frown and studied George with care.

With every test that's known to man, he ran George through the mill.
As Jacks' scowl darkened all the more, the more poor George felt ill.

When Jack was done, his face was grave. He gave poor George a pat.
"It's nasopharyngitis! An acute case too, at that!"

"You'll have it just for seven days, and then its run is through.
I'm sorry George," was all Jack said, "There's nothing I can do."

Poor George went white; his nerves gave out as Jack confirmed his fears,
He bolted off with Jacks pronouncement ringing in his ears.

He headed for the local pub to contemplate his plight,
He spent his savings shouting beers to everyone in sight.

The publican grew quite concerned at Georges legless state,
"I think Jack's had a lend of you, but I can put you straight."

"This nasopharyngitis thing, I've heard that name for sure,
I tell you, it's the common cold! Jack's tried that one before!"

The publican was privy to some ravings quite intense,
As George rushed out in angry haste "To teach that quack some sense!"

Well, no one knows exactly what went on between the two,
Suffice to say that both emerged a jaded purple hue.

And now, from jokes and braggings of good health, they both refrain,
For both will tell you one mans pride can mean another's pain.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Lights

Do you want to have a beautiful lighting's on your house? If I were you I will visit Farrey's website. This website aims to serve as a good supplier of different kinds of lamps. This website offers a lot of products that all costumers would love to buy for their lighting's on their house.

Fine art lamps are also available in this site. They have so many different designs that all costumer would love to pick. The style and quality of their product are one of the greatest talent of their company. Another example of their product is their forecast lighting. This kind of lamps are good in your rooms and other side of your house. This lighting's are made out from different kinds of materials that is 100% secure and in good quality. Actually all products of Farrey are in good quality, If I were you I am going to put my dedication in this website.

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Gift

Do you have problem in buying your gifts this coming Christmas season? If I were you I will visit Shopwiki's website. This website is all about UK gift buying guides. In this website it will guide you to the best product that you are looking for your friends, relatives and many more. Even in different kind of occasions, you can catch a great idea here.

In this website, you can discover many products that will allow you to buy different kinds of designs and quality. Shopwiki is here for us to lessen our problems regarding on buying different kinds of Christmas gifts. We all know that gift symbolizes humbleness and also for becoming a better person, so that shopwiki is willing to help us just to fill our needs. So, if you are a gift giver i will visit this website without a doubt.

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Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Modern

Today, many houses are made up of different designs and styles. People want to have their houses as elegant as they want. Nowadays many websites are offering different kinds of design to offer for their costumer to use as a design for their newly built house.

One of the design that is known in the E Room Service website is the Modern Contemporary Furniture. This furniture is one of the most promising designs that E Room can offer to you. This design is made for people that want to have designs that are contemporary but if you look in the other side it is modern. Many Modern Furniture's are available and you can also search different Furniture Store.

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Monday, November 3, 2008

Furniture

Do you want to have a great furniture in your house? Many people today love to design their house with different furniture's and other house designs. Different types of furniture's are available to E Room Service website. They offer lots of furniture design that you will love to put in to your house.

One of the best furniture is the Modern Furniture. It is one of the best furniture's that E Room Service can give us. Contemporary Furniture is also available in this site. This furniture gives you a simple but elegant design in your house. One of their forte in giving furniture is the Italian Furniture, this furniture gives you the ambiance of Italian lifestyle.

You can get great tips and ideas regarding on how to have the great furniture design in your house by visiting the website of E Room Service website. This website is indeed rich with things that you would probably like to have so try it here:http://www.eroomservice.com. The website is very neatly and easy to navigate.